Excuses vs. Facts

I have a lot of pictures to post – lots of places I’ve been and people I’ve seen and food I ate.   Fun stuff and I promise I’ll get to it.  First I wanted to post this before I get distracted.

I think I’ve finally had a bit of a breakthrough on the diet/exercise front.  Don’t quote me yet – but I feel different about it today.

Nothing like having to face your nutritionist after drinking your weight in wine for a week straight to do the trick.

Two years ago when I was the fattest I ever was or ever want to be my life was at a crossroads.  Traveling for work had slowed down considerably for me – I literally couldn’t stand myself one more minute and I was motivated to change things.  I began working with M feeling like this was the last resort.  I had pretty much determined there was no way in hell I’d ever lose the weight.

And then – I did.

I maintained for about a year and then – things got crazy.  Instead of traveling I was dealing with my dad’s illness and a new relationship.  I didn’t have a lot of time to give to myself – I was focused on other things.  I was OK through the summer because I am more active in the summer – but September hit and I just basically gave up.

All I know is that I can’t watch the scale go up one more pound.  I have dealt with a lot this year but the fact is that there is always going to be SOMETHING.  The facts that got me to where I am now are also excuses.  There’s no denying things have happened and my life has changed but I can change the way I deal with it. 

I’m not going to come here and tell you I’m going to be perfect.  I’m not going to list promises to myself about what I’ll eat and how much I’ll work out.  I’m simply going to be selfish.  I’m going to quietly carve out time every day where I’m simply thinking of ME.   A salad for lunch, a half hour walk, the refusal to let Pinot Grigio enter the confines of my apartment.  Any – and all – of these things will help.

It’s a start.

My next few weeks are JAM PACKED.  I am away this weekend – and then away for work next week and the week after.  My dad’s birthday is next week.  I’m going to be rehearsing for my concert (in the fugly dress I’m going to have to take to the tailor to have them let it out so I can breathe).  If I can get through the next few weeks – the way I got through the first few weeks 3 years ago when I started this I’ll at least see the scale start to go down.

It’s not so much about how I look as about how I feel.  This time around I have clothes that fit.   I’d just like to fit into more of them.    I want to feel better.  I’m tired of feeling….just OK.

The fact is there are no more excuses.

Wish me luck.