New Year, New Me

 

 

This time last year I was about 100 months pregnant and suffering from a horrible bout of sciatica.    Honestly, going through labor and giving birth was cake compared to all that.

2012 was a challenge in so many ways.    There was much to adjust to and quite honestly I’m not quite sure I’ve gotten there yet.   But I’m trying. 

We’ve had fun holidays and such but something is just constantly *off*.  I guess  it comes down to the fact that nothing will be the same now that my father is no longer here.    On New Year’s Eve Jen and I recreated a recipe that was brought to us by my mother but last executed by my Dad.    The fact that we could not just call out to him for guidance made me mad. 

Then again – if he were here he’d be making it himself.

Still I am grateful for all I do have.   Great friends, a loving family, wonderful stepkids, an amazing husband, and the happiest little boy ever created.

 

For the four thousandth time I’m heading back to Weigh Watchers.   I’m renewing our gym membership.  I’m armed with a Cooking Light cookbook, a Nike fuel band and new workout clothes.   

Even the guy at the bagel store today is in on it.    I ordered a blueberry bagel with cream cheese for Mora and an onion bagel with butter for myself.

He made me a mini bagel.

Stay tuned and wish me luck as I try to make six people eat the food I used to make for myself when I started this blog.  

A happy and healthy New Year to you all.

 

 

Why I don’t want to be a Mommy Blogger

 Ryan likes bottles and doesn’t care what you think about it.

I started blogging because my sister said she thought I should.   I enjoyed reading blogs and decided to jump in with my own experience and take on a few subjects.  

The first blogs I followed were daily food diaries and while I sometimes am jealous and want to imitate what I see others eating it got old fast.

I had my son when I was 41 years old.   I truly didn’t think it was in the cards for me – or if it was – I’d have to work for it.   I got surprised in more ways than one.

I’ve read about natural childbirth and breastfeeding and what society or more accurately the blog world deems right and appropriate in terms of delivery and nourishing your child.  

And it’s all a bunch of judgmental, snarky bullshit.

When I went to my childbirth class the nurse who ran it said “We teach about pain free childbirth and want to make sure you are ok with that”.

I was.

I was given a choice at that point – to find another class or get on board with that one.

If I were younger maybe I’d try to go all natural.   Maybe I’d have gone to a midwife and not an OBGYN. 

Truth be told I don’t think I’m that kind of person.

I don’t think I’d ever want a doula involved in my birth process.    Dave and I did just fine.   I walked around for 2 days with a broken arm but I don’t think I’d want to experience labor when I know that there is a medication that in most cases takes the pain away.

I was past my due date.   I was at the doctors every other day getting a sonogram every other week it seemed.   I was anxious and jittery.   My doctor said that my blood pressure was elevated and that may or may not have been the case.   All I know is I had an induced labor and an epidural.   I had my son in my arms roughly 24 hours after I entered the hospital and was in labor for about half that.

Just as some make a conscious choice to try a drug free birth I made a conscious choice to have one aided with drugs.   And  I’d do it again in a heartbeat.

I don’t  for one second think this makes me weak or uninformed or ill prepared for motherhood.   I have – dare I say – one of the happiest babies ever.   I breastfed him until it was becoming a real challenge and for my own sanity I  tapered off until he made his preference known.

What I don’t hear many mommy bloggers say is that taking care of themselves is directly related to taking good care of their babies.

I just read one of the most horrific posts ever about how lazy I apparently am for not breastfeeding Ryan until the dawn of the new millennium.   I admit – there would have been a limit to my breastfeeding him had I continued.  Basically if he could speak to me and ask me to nurse him we’d be about done.

But if that’s what some women want to do that’s fantastic.  And if that works for their lifestyle and their child I say more power to them.   However I shouldn’t have to defend my choice to stop breastfeeding and those that do shouldn’t have to defend their choice to do it as long as they want.

When I first started this blog I was telling my experience of losing weight.   I wasn’t an expert but I wanted to share what had worked for me and keep myself accountable.  And yeah there’s a sort of narcissism attached to blogging in general.  You have to have a bit of audacity to think some stranger is interested in what you have to say.

So if I ever write anything vaguely Mommy Blogger–esque it  will be from my perspective as a first time mom and stepmother of 3.  It will be about what personally works for me or things I want to share with the world.    And though I might have an opinion about what others do with their children I won’t be sharing too much of that.

It’s none of my business how you want to raise your child - I mean – c’mon -  I’ll never think you’re a good mother if you abuse your child in any way but short of that you do what you want.   And it’s really no one’s business how I raise mine.

I don’t know what I’m trying to say here except it makes me really sad.  

Maybe I’ll start mommy blogging when mommies are actually nice to each other.

Back in the saddle

Four years ago I started to lose weight.  I started at a time when I thought all hope was lost.  I really, truly did not believe I could do it.

But I did.

60 lbs later I felt fantastic.  I exercised often and I enjoyed it.   My closet was no longer a place I loathed but a place I loved.

And then I met Dave and went out a lot and didn’t quite care that I didn’t order the salad anymore. 

And then, my father died.   And I didn’t quite care what I ate.

And then, I got pregnant.

And then I had this guy.

And here we are.

I’m back…again.    I’m starting with just exercising more regularly.   I just re-started the Couch 2 5K.    I feel like I need to start exercising first and then I can focus on eating.   As it is these days I leave a half full plate at meals because someone needs my attention.

I weighed less the few weeks after I had Ryan than I currently do and that’s the thing that makes me most upset about all this.   But just as I felt when I was single – that you can’t complain about not being with someone if you don’t actively try to find them – you can’t lose weight by sitting on your ass and stuffing your face.

So – at the very least – I’m going to get up and stop eating so much.

We’ll see how it goes.

Cravings

image found on  burgerbusiness.com

I am not one to say I’d never eat fast food.

Even at my heaviest fast food was not my problem.   Sure, I’d cure an hangover with a number 3 from McDonald’s with a large fountain Diet Coke and when on road trips wouldn’t dare kid myself that I’d have the salad but it was not a daily, hell it was probably not even a monthly thing.

Until I got pregnant.

At some point near the middle of the second trimester I became Wendy’s bitch.   Part of this was logistics.   In order to get to and from Stop & Shop for groceries, in order to go to my OBGYN, in order to visit the chiropractor or get a prenatal massage to try and battle sciatica (more on that later) I passed by the home of my “red-headed friend”.    And I got myself a Spicy Chicken Sandwich Combo – medium, with only lettuce on the sandwich.

And more times than not – a Frosty for dessert.

Despite this habit – which at it’s height had me there daily and knowing the drive-thru cashier by name  (not quite but close) I didn’t gain that much weight during my pregnancy.   Sure – I was 30 lbs up before I got pregnant but I gained approximately 22-ish lbs all told.    I’ve lost about half that and kept it off.

The other 10?   And the original 30?   They’re sticking around.

I had plans – big plans for losing the weight.  Breastfeeding will make the weight slide right off!!!  I’ll walk with the baby every day!!   We’ll go to Mommy & Me Baby Bootcamp!!!  

My baby is a giant – clocking in at almost 20 lbs in his 5th month.   8 of those pounds were gained from birth and with me nursing him exclusively.    The last 4 weeks we’ve cut back to me nursing 2-3x a day and supplementing formula (and now first foods 2x a day).   All breastfeeding got me was a baby who’s thriving and some ugly ass bras.  

Our mild winter turned into a Sahara-esque summer and so risking heatstroke from walking is not really an option.   The annoying thing about new mommies groups (which I admit I researched and didn’t attempt to go) is that they are all for SAHM and meet during weekday mornings.   It’s annoying.

In the last 3 weeks I’ve started a routine of sorts.    I took my first post baby Zumba class and didn’t die.   Ryan’s daycare is close to the Y and so my new routine (when working from home) is to put on workout clothes and drop him off then head to the gym.

So far my eating hasn’t caught up to my exercise schedule.   I’m still craving ice cream and won’t lie.   My last tryst with Wendy was sometime last week.   But I’m committed to running a 10k with Jen in the fall and am tired of crying every time I look at my closet.   I’m thisclose to being at a size where conventional stores are no longer an option and I SWORE to myself I would never ever let that happen again.

So far my workouts are incline walking – 30 minutes at about a level 12 (out of 20) which puts me at the highest at an 8% incline on the random program.     Next week I plan to start Couch25K again and Dave talked today about joining Weight Watchers with me.  

I know I can do it.   I’ve done it before.  Starting the exercise before the ‘diet’ is actually a good thing for me.  The more I work out – the less I’ll eat…eventually.

For now I’m stating here and now a moratorium on Spicy Chicken Combos.    My BFF at the drive-thru will have to learn to get along without me.

Salads Galore

I am here to report that my latest project has done it.  I filmed my first video last night and though I do stand by making an unfortunate wardrobe choice (I should not have worn my dad’s old XXL sweater) it is clear now that I have to get my ass in gear. 

I hate the way I look.   I haven’t hated the way I look in a really long time and I don’t like it one bit.

Last night’s pasta dinner notwithstanding (more on that later) Dave and I have eaten a lot of salads in the past 2 days.

Dinner on Monday was Salad ‘n Steak.

I bought a new cast iron pan for $14.99 when Dave and I stopped for dinner at Cracker Barrel on Sunday.

Yes.  We eat at Cracker Barrel.    This pan has already changed my life significantly.

  I marinated a London Broil Joe Malone style with Gravy Master, soy sauce and garlic powder.  Served over spinach with caramelized onions and peppers & crumbled goat cheese.  I also made a quick dressing of dijon balsamic vinaigrette.   With a baked red potato on the side.  The steak was cooked pretty perfectly if I do say so.Yesterday’s lunch were his and her salads.  Iceberg, grilled chicken, soppressata, tomato, onion, carrot and celery and parmesan for him….Grilled chicken and leftover spinach salad from dinner the night before for moi.

 

 

Tomorrow I will also show the scientific way I decided who will win the Multigrain Cheerios prize pack. (I know this was like 100 years ago). 

Later I will show you how I used the 3 things below to make a recipe video.

  

Until then….

Excuses vs. Facts

I have a lot of pictures to post – lots of places I’ve been and people I’ve seen and food I ate.   Fun stuff and I promise I’ll get to it.  First I wanted to post this before I get distracted.

I think I’ve finally had a bit of a breakthrough on the diet/exercise front.  Don’t quote me yet – but I feel different about it today.

Nothing like having to face your nutritionist after drinking your weight in wine for a week straight to do the trick.

Two years ago when I was the fattest I ever was or ever want to be my life was at a crossroads.  Traveling for work had slowed down considerably for me – I literally couldn’t stand myself one more minute and I was motivated to change things.  I began working with M feeling like this was the last resort.  I had pretty much determined there was no way in hell I’d ever lose the weight.

And then – I did.

I maintained for about a year and then – things got crazy.  Instead of traveling I was dealing with my dad’s illness and a new relationship.  I didn’t have a lot of time to give to myself – I was focused on other things.  I was OK through the summer because I am more active in the summer – but September hit and I just basically gave up.

All I know is that I can’t watch the scale go up one more pound.  I have dealt with a lot this year but the fact is that there is always going to be SOMETHING.  The facts that got me to where I am now are also excuses.  There’s no denying things have happened and my life has changed but I can change the way I deal with it. 

I’m not going to come here and tell you I’m going to be perfect.  I’m not going to list promises to myself about what I’ll eat and how much I’ll work out.  I’m simply going to be selfish.  I’m going to quietly carve out time every day where I’m simply thinking of ME.   A salad for lunch, a half hour walk, the refusal to let Pinot Grigio enter the confines of my apartment.  Any – and all – of these things will help.

It’s a start.

My next few weeks are JAM PACKED.  I am away this weekend – and then away for work next week and the week after.  My dad’s birthday is next week.  I’m going to be rehearsing for my concert (in the fugly dress I’m going to have to take to the tailor to have them let it out so I can breathe).  If I can get through the next few weeks – the way I got through the first few weeks 3 years ago when I started this I’ll at least see the scale start to go down.

It’s not so much about how I look as about how I feel.  This time around I have clothes that fit.   I’d just like to fit into more of them.    I want to feel better.  I’m tired of feeling….just OK.

The fact is there are no more excuses.

Wish me luck.

C is for….

Chorus.  I am going back tonight.  The horrific dress I have to wear will not look good if I keep eating like it’s going out of style.   I know.  I just tried it on.  I couldn’t complete the zip up process without outside assistance.

It would be better if I lost 5 lbs.  Better still if I lost 10.  Awesome if I lost 20.

I’m going for something between 5-10.  I have 2 months before our first performance (at Avery Fisher Hall – I’m EXCITED).  Cross your fingers ladies and gents that I can get it done.

It’s integral to my mental health as well.  I’m feeling very sloth like.  I’m full of good intentions – not quite there with the follow up.

C is also for – Chicken.

We are going to have snacks at chorus tonight – as we traditionally do on the first day back.  So I did what I used to do back in the day. 

You know.  Those days where I weighed 25 lbs less than I do now.

So I made myself a sammich.  Just half like I used to eat in the olden days.

C is for – Confessions.

I bake for the first day of chorus – again - traditionally.  Everyone raves about the things I make – be it brownies or pound cake (I usually take things that are easy to transport).    Today C is also for cookies – which I baked.

Sugar cookies. With royal icing.And colored sprinkles.And Betty Crocker.

I feel so much better now that I’ve come clean.

Day One – Done.

I had a very good day yesterday.

Despite the fact that I’m sick…again.  I have a stuffy nose and a cough that I can’t even blame on my boyfriend or his kids.  :(

Yesterday I ate and behaved like I used to not so long ago and survived.  I not only survived – I wasn’t so hungry I wanted to gnaw my own arm off.

You laugh but this was a definite concern.

I broke a big rule and ate breakfast late.  I had an English Muffin with some Three Cheese Onion Blend from Hickory Farms.  Before the holiday I received a box of goodies from the Foodbuzz Tastemaker Program.   I received the Deluxe Hickory Selection.  I took pictures but it’s been a while and the pictures are on my point and shoot and I seem to have misplaced the cord. :(   I just ordered a new one because I am not confident that I can find it through all my travels.

Here’s what it looked like.

I brought some of that box over to Dave’s.  I brought some with me when we tailgated at the Penn State Game.  I’m not a big sausage fan (That’s what she said) but I have more of the cheese in my fridge for future use.

For lunch I had a cup of Lipton Ring O Noodles Soup.  Did you know that you are supposed to get 4 servings out of that sucker?  I added some egg noodles too.

Sidenote:  That link brings you to Wegmans.  My idea of paradise is to live inside a Wegmans next to a Trader Joe’s and a Barnes & Noble while eating peanut butter for breakfast, salads with goat cheese for lunch and hot pretzels with mustard for a snack and burgers and fries for dinner.  I would also require Diet Coke and Pinot Grigio.

For exercise yesterday I didn’t want to go out again so I did the stairs.  There are 8 flights in my building and I did them 3 times up and down.  Probably took about 15 minutes.  My heart rate got up to 169 at one point (thank you Dave for my awesome new watch thingy) and my legs are KILLING ME today. 

I forgot how good that feels – to work out muscles that you normally don’t.  Today is a gym day.  I’m going to walk for 45 minutes after work.

Dave came over for dinner.   I made pasta primavera with chicken.   Dave’s mom was ridiculously generous to me this Christmas and gave me a Le Creuset Grill Pan.

If I wasn’t already in love with her son I would date this grill pan.  That’s how much I adore Le Creuset.  I marinated the chicken in Italian dressing and grilled it with a little onion.I sautéed some garlic, yellow bell pepper, roasted tomatoes and onion.

I added steamed broccoli, whole wheat pasta, spinach, basil and parmesan.  Spices were some black pepper, crushed red pepper and lemon pepper.  Sauce was some white wine and a cup of the pasta water with a drizzle of olive oil.Ta da!!!   

I measured 2 cups of dried pasta. There’s about a cup of leftovers in my fridge right now. I drank Diet Coke and had a TJ’s Mini Mint Mouthful and this guy for dessert.

I don’t feel overly full.  I feel accomplished and productive.  I still need to do some laundry and mop the floor but my place looks pretty presentable. 

It’s a good day.

Things you might be wondering…

Where I am.  Answer: I’m at Dave’s

What I’ve been doing.  Answer:  Up until last night I was having a perfectly lovely weekend.

What I’ve been eating.  Answer:  Today?  Flat Diet Coke, Saltines, and Peppermint tea.

Dave’s kids had a stomach bug that they generously shared with me.

I’ll be back when I’m eating something that isn’t beige.

Feed a cold

Hello there.  Sorry for being MIA (I feel like all I do is say that but oh well).   I have been a bit busy since we last met.  I went to NJ, caught a cold, babysat my two adorable nieces for the weekend and am now finally feeling a lot better.   I credit the chicken soup I made for some of that.

But first – let me tell you a story.

So.  Thursday I was in NJ for trivia.  Dave and I went with all the kids.  We lost. :(  I came back to NYC on Friday.  Jen was in the city for an interview.  She met me at my apartment, we had lunch and then we headed to Penn Station to take the train back to my mom’s to await the arrival of Miss Madeleine and Miss Ellie.

It was Happy Hour – ish and we were thirsty.   I saw a stand with mini bottles of Pinot Grigio.

TGIF!  So I asked for two and took out a twenty to pay.

This is a integral part of the story.

The cashier (who will furthermore be known as that lying, thieving biatch - or LTB for short) told me it was $7.00.  She gave me $3.00 change.

So I calmly explain to her that she gave me an inaccurate amount of change and she insists I gave her a $10.00 bill and won’t give me the rest of my money back.

Oh no she didn’t.

The thing is I knew I had given her a $20.00 because Jen had ordered lunch when she got to my apartment and when we went to pay all I had in my wallet were some singles and A TWENTY.  No ten.  I didn’t have a ten dollar bill to give her.

LTB will not budge.  Not only will she not budge – she tells me to talk to the manager and takes the stack of 20s in her register and puts them under the drawer so it looks like I couldn’t have possibly given her a twenty dollar bill.

Her manager is no better.  He tells me I can’t prove I gave her a 20.  I am LIVID at this point.  I’m so mad I’m shaking.  Jen finally talks me down.  I insist they give me at least the $10 they say I gave them back.   I am still out $10 – but they also have to eat the two bottles of wine she opened so the LTB is only $3.00 richer.

I am sputtering I’m so mad and still freaking thirsty so I go next door to grab a Diet Coke.  Jen realizes it’s the same place – connected by a door in the back when she see the manager come over.  I throw the bottle of soda at the LTB’s coworker and run out.

DO NOT.  I REPEAT DO NOT EVER GO TO THE PLACE ON THE LEFT NEXT TO KMART IN PENN STATION FOR ANYTHING EVER. 

I honestly have never seen such blatant dishonesty in my life.   That’s what got me the most.  How she just sat there and lied and her boss backed her up.  I kept saying “I’m your customer and I am telling you I gave her $20” but nope.   He kept saying I couldn’t prove it.  Unbelievable.  Dave says that I should have had her count her register right then and there but she’d find a way to lie about it again and I’d probably have missed my train.

So I ended up getting a drink at Auntie Anne’s – my happy place.

It took me a while to get over it I’ve got to tell you.  Made me so incredibly angry.

But what makes me so incredibly happy are my two little munchkins.  Jen said it perfectly – when you walk down the street with them people smile because they are JUST. THAT. CUTE.

So to feed my cold I made homemade chicken soup.   My dad used to make this the first time it snowed every year.   :( I didn’t get it exactly right.  It’s missing a bit of seasoning.  I looked in 3 different cookbooks but couldn’t find anything close so I just did my own thing.

I started with store bought stock.   I used 1 1/2 of these babies.

I roasted a chicken breast in the oven, sliced it and set it to the side.   It was about a 1.5 lb chicken breast that I roasted with garlic cloves under the skin and onion on top.  I then put the bones in with the stock and simmered for a while. To the stock I also added some chopped onion (about one medium), 3 bay leaves and 2 stalks of chopped celery.     I used fresh parsley and the celery leaves as well.I added the chicken and about a half a bag of baby carrots and 4 potatoes peeled and chopped.  This is what I loved about my dad’s soup.   It’s very starchy – you’ll see why in a bit.Simmer, simmer. Then you add the egg noodles!!!   This is KEY.Served in a big mug.  It definitely did the trick. 

Just looking at this soup makes me calmer.   You know what else makes me calm?  Grilled cheese sandwiches and oven fries.  I made this sometime last week but just found the picture.

I think I gained back the 2 lbs I lost.  Between being sick and job stress I’ve not kept up with tracking at all and have had very meager workouts. I’ve made myself go but have basically phoned it in and haven’t been to Zumba in weeks.  I feel much better today so I think I’ll finish up week 3 of the C25K.  I hid from weighing in last week but I’ll suck it up and go tomorrow and take my lumps.  I have to move more.  I used to walk EVERYWHERE the last time I was focused on weight loss and now I get to the subway and give up.  

Sigh.

There is only so much I can do I guess.  I am trying to give myself a break and not be too hard on myself but there is a balance between going easy on myself and saying screw it you know?

Later I’ll tell you of the dinner I made last night and how my peanut sauce was way too watery.

Hold on to the edges of your seats. ;)

Living Dangerously

In about an hour and a half I'll be out the doors of this shoebox of an apartment for the bulk of the day. I've got back to back drs appointments and then will run errands and get my hair done after work is done for the day.

The weather reports say it's in the 70s today - if a bit gloomy. At least I won't freeze to death my first day outdoors.

Breakfast, surprisingly, has been sitting pretty well.



I don't know what lunch will be - or where lunch will be - as I'll be out and about around that time.

I've spent the morning sorting through mail, paying bills, and enrolling in the Food Writing class (YAY!!!). Even though I don't have a ton going on I'm excited for the weekend.

Anyone have any fun weekend plans?

Content

I'm ready for the weekend and for my week at home to be done. I'm all caught up at work (pretty much - my email inbox needs to be cleared out) and I've felt great all day today.

It's obviously too close to call at this point but I remember how the doctor at the first surgical consult said something to the effect that I could have lived my life without having surgery. I could just be super careful with what I eat.

If this week, Frito Misto and ice cream mishaps included, is any indication of me being 'super careful' with what I eat for the rest of my life surgery was not only the best choice for me - it was the ONLY choice.

I cannot wait to get these bandages off though.

FOR REALS.

Dinner tonight were balsamic drumsticks and smashed potatoes. These are the confetti potatoes from TJ's and were a combo of purple and red with a splash of lowfat milk, a pat of butter S&P.








And I loved (and enjoyed) every bite.

Lounging, TV, & Sleep are on the agenda this evening.

See you tomorrow.

Not crazy...eggsactly...

But maybe a little. :)

I am not cut out for telecommuting 24/7. At least not living the way I do right now -which is in the equivalent of a hotel room. Plus - living in NYC means I'd never have to actually LEAVE here at all. I can have virtually everything delivered to my doorstep.

I went for a quick walk (in the rain) just a bit ago to prove that I'm not some crazy reclusive cat lady.

Minus the cats.

About a year ago I went through this period where eggs didn't agree with me too much. So what did I have today for breakfast?



The results were so-so. I felt no worse than I did back then, better than I did over the weekend and on Monday.

A minor success.

Plans for today are - you know - more work, a little lunch and thinking about what I want for dinner. I think this is the biggest issue for me. There are so many things I'd love to eat right now. I'd love to make some baslamic wings or cheesy pasta or break into the container of turkey meatballs my dad made that are tucked in my freezer.

I'm going for some pasta with marinara sauce for lunch and we'll take it from there.

PS: To those who are curious - I promise that I'm off the pain meds. I'm just deprived of social interaction of late. :)

Ten Updates (or random questions/thoughts)

1) I got a TON of work done today. I love when that happens.

2) I learned how to cut and paste my signature onto Banquet Event Orders (thanks Annie!)- keeping me from having to go to the office this week.

3) This is huge news - even if you don't realize its importance.

4) Trader Joe's continues to be the greatest place in the universe.

5) Seriously. I want to own a Trader Joe's.

6) Why can't Trader Joe's pay more? I would definitely work there.

7) One of my bandages fell off. ICK. The incision is itty bitty - like a tiny cross. But now it's itchy and I have the most ridiculous combinations of Band Aids + medical tape covering it. The doctor is sure to roll his eyes on Friday.

8) Before I put all these crazy Band Aids on it I got it wet. I hope the combination of Lavender Dial Antibacterial soap and Neosporin will keep me from getting some incurable infection.

9) Are infections incurable?

10) I'm watching a Real Housewives of NYC Marathon and just caught a commercial for this Thursday. No Real Housewife should ever do any real singing EVER.

I was going to have that leftover L'Express salad for lunch - but the lettuce looked way too sad when I went to get it out of the To Go box. Instead I put some of it + the chicken on a sandwich thin.




In the mid-afternoon I had a snack. These were awesome. Made with strawberries so real my teeth were full of seeds after.



Click on that picture to see the fine print. It says "Serving Suggestion" on the front of the box. They suggest you serve 2 ice pops in a glass bowl.

Alrighty then. :)

I chose to serve it the old fashioned way.



I will say I did love the Edy's ones Jen got me last week too. I'm gonna look for them at the grocery store. They will be great for the summer when I want a treat.

I love the flavors of grape and lemon. Growing up I used to have Grape Lemonade all the time in the summer. Anyone else have that?

It is a can of this:



Plus a can of this:



Such a childhood taste memory for me. Like...Pringles in the red can, Cheez Doodles - the big puffy kind, Good Humor Ice Cream Bars - the one that had a chocolate bar in the center.

Confession: We used to use Pringles as communion hosts when we'd play mass as kids. My mom worked for the parish as did my aunt who lived next door. So yeah. Sometimes we - as kids - played mass.

Sometimes we played Star Wars. I was the only girl and always got to play Leia. I used to wear a quilted jacket with a Mandarin collar and Chinese slippers. I apparently was Leia when she wanted to kick some Empire ass.

Sometimes we played Grease. I was - of course - Sandy. I used to wear my Aunt Pat's Candie's slides and my black ballet leotard with the shoulders pulled down.

I'm so going to hell for one of those things. I'm not sure which at the moment. ;)

Aaaaaaand on that note this is what I had for dinner.



Jen is going to read this post and tell me that I "love everything".

And she will be right.

Hope everyone had a great day. My food choices (after the breakfast setback) served me well today.

Go figure.

See you tomorrow!

The jerk store called

Honestly. I fancy myself a relatively intelligent person. I've spent 2 years learning how to eat in order to lose weight. You'd think I'd be able to follow a few logical post-surgery suggestions.

Like an intelligent person might say to herself:

"Hey there. Your body is now missing an organ that helped your liver deal with stuff that has fat in it. Maybe you shouldn't eat a lot of fat. Cheese has fat. Butter has fat. Peanut butter? More fat."

I mean it's not rocket science.

Last night I actually felt pretty good. I went easy on dinner - ate bland (if buttery but honestly I didn't use too much) for most of the day. I slept well for the most part.

Then this morning I thought - I'll have an English Muffin with Peanut Butter.



Really? REALLY!?!

I guess it's not the end of the world. I'm working from home this week. I am writing this post on my laptop from bed (which is where I'll basically spend the workday). So all things considered - it's a good time to experiment.

I just want to feel better. And I don't yet. Soooo...it's official. I need to ease up on the fatty stuff. :(

Lunch is going to be leftover salad with chicken. We'll see how that works. Next Wed I'm going to see M to see how to get these last 7 lbs off.

Yep. Just 7. The upside of all this - I'm back to my pre-surgery, pre-carbo loading weight.

Hopefully the doctor will tell me I'm able to exercise (at least in some form) on Friday.

Maybe I'll just keep saying "Zumba. Zumba. Zumba." like a chant to make my wish come true. ;)

According to some people I pretty much do that already anyway.

Blah Blah Blah

I am trying to make this buffet of beige look as appetizing as possible.

Breakfast. Quinoa toast.



Lunch. Egg noodles, butter + a little grated pecorino.



Dinner. 1/2 chicken breast poached in white wine with a little onion and lemon pepper, 1.5 baby potatoes 1 purple 1/2 a red for color + peas.




If I have anything later it will be a new ice pop I got at TJ's today. We'll see if I even eat it.

Speaking of, my excursion to TJ's earlier took more out of me than I was willing to admit at first. Since Wed I spent most of the time on the couch with little bits of activity. Today I did a lot more than I've done in a week. Living alone I'm so used to doing everything, handling everything myself that I think sometimes someone is trying to tell me to SLOW DOWN and just RELAX.

And so - tonight - I will.

It's Monday. The Real Housewives of NJ are going to scratch each other's eyes out.

And I for one cannot wait.

Oh Andy Cohen. WTF have you done to me????

May Flowers

I have a lot to update you on. Basically - after Friday I tried to pretend I didn't have an organ taken out of my body last week and ate stuff I probably should not have. So please note that today's meals were toast and buttered egg noodles. I show you those later.

Everything else you see here was not a very good idea.

I'll spare you more detail. You can thank me later. :)

Anyway - I am pain free for the most part. My bandages are more of a nuisance than anything else right about now. I ran to TJ's earlier and made mistake #2 - which is thinking I'm capable of carrying 30 lbs worth of groceries like it's not big deal.

What I'm saying is I overdid it a bit.

Or maybe I'm spoiled from my last grocery shop when someone else did the heavy lifting.

Anyway...let me show you what I've been up to these days.

First I have said this before but it is still true. I have THE BEST FRIENDS EVER.

This beautiful bouquet was sent to me out on LI.



This bunch of beauties was waiting for me when I got home to NYC.




I love, love, love fresh flowers. They instantly make me happy. Thanks again to the fabulous Carrie, Cort, Maddy, Mellie V, KZ, and Patti for the lovely roses and thanks to darling Kay for the irises. LOVE THEM.

I ate this pasta on Friday for dinner. My dad made it and it was even more delicious because of that. Shrimp w/garlic and oil. Sorry so dark!



I ate 2 of these bagel cheese sandwiches. They are mini bagels. Feel the need to clarify that. :) 1 for lunch on Saturday and 1 for breakfast on Sunday.



Saturday night I had a post-op dinner date. We went to Cipollini at the Americana.

We started with Frito Misto. Delicious - but not smart. Not gallbladderless friendly.



I had bucantini pomodoro. Smartest choice of the weekend.




He had salmon.




Sidenote: I don't know why he still wants to have dinner with me. I asked if he wanted a taste of my pasta - and he gave me a bite of salmon. I recoiled as he tried to put it on my plate saying "NO! You don't need to give me that. I don't like salmon!!"

Really. I take pictures of my food and then freak when people try and share their food with me. What a prize!! LOL! No point hiding who I am though I guess!!

We also had dessert. I don't know where the picture went. It was chocolate cake with pistachio gelato.

I don't like pistachio gelato. I think I made a face when they set down the plate.

That's me. Class act right here.

Yesterday we had a lovely Mother's Day. We (me, mom, dad, and Jen) went to L'Express for dinner.



I'm going to tell you more about this place later. It's always been one of my favorites (and my mom's too) but I found out that there is an emphasis on eating green for the month of May.





Jen had a beer (or 2) with a cool name.



The End of the World

I had...Pinot Grigio. Shocker.



I had roasted tomato soup and it was delish - especially since it was chilly yesterday.



I also had the organic chicken breast over greens with asparagus. I have half of this left.



Then I made another fatal error. Ice cream.



This was my mom's dessert. I am showing you this because if you go to L'Express for nothing else you need to try these profiteroles at least once in your lifetime.



And that's enough for now. Hope you all had a lovely weekend. I can't promise exciting food this week. I bought a lot of bland stuff today at TJ's. Things like turkey burgers and chicken drumsticks and wheat crackers and pasta. After a few days of eating carefully I'll test the waters again.

Stay tuned.