Tuesday, September 18, 2012

Why I don’t want to be a Mommy Blogger

Ryan Mall Ryan likes bottles and doesn’t care what you think about it.

I started blogging because my sister said she thought I should.   I enjoyed reading blogs and decided to jump in with my own experience and take on a few subjects.  

The first blogs I followed were daily food diaries and while I sometimes am jealous and want to imitate what I see others eating it got old fast.

I had my son when I was 41 years old.   I truly didn’t think it was in the cards for me – or if it was – I’d have to work for it.   I got surprised in more ways than one.

I’ve read about natural childbirth and breastfeeding and what society or more accurately the blog world deems right and appropriate in terms of delivery and nourishing your child.  

And it’s all a bunch of judgmental, snarky bullshit.

When I went to my childbirth class the nurse who ran it said “We teach about pain free childbirth and want to make sure you are ok with that”.

I was.

I was given a choice at that point – to find another class or get on board with that one.

If I were younger maybe I’d try to go all natural.   Maybe I’d have gone to a midwife and not an OBGYN. 

Truth be told I don’t think I’m that kind of person.

I don’t think I’d ever want a doula involved in my birth process.    Dave and I did just fine.   I walked around for 2 days with a broken arm but I don’t think I’d want to experience labor when I know that there is a medication that in most cases takes the pain away.

I was past my due date.   I was at the doctors every other day getting a sonogram every other week it seemed.   I was anxious and jittery.   My doctor said that my blood pressure was elevated and that may or may not have been the case.   All I know is I had an induced labor and an epidural.   I had my son in my arms roughly 24 hours after I entered the hospital and was in labor for about half that.

Just as some make a conscious choice to try a drug free birth I made a conscious choice to have one aided with drugs.   And  I’d do it again in a heartbeat.

I don’t  for one second think this makes me weak or uninformed or ill prepared for motherhood.   I have – dare I say – one of the happiest babies ever.   I breastfed him until it was becoming a real challenge and for my own sanity I  tapered off until he made his preference known.

What I don’t hear many mommy bloggers say is that taking care of themselves is directly related to taking good care of their babies.

I just read one of the most horrific posts ever about how lazy I apparently am for not breastfeeding Ryan until the dawn of the new millennium.   I admit – there would have been a limit to my breastfeeding him had I continued.  Basically if he could speak to me and ask me to nurse him we’d be about done.

But if that’s what some women want to do that’s fantastic.  And if that works for their lifestyle and their child I say more power to them.   However I shouldn’t have to defend my choice to stop breastfeeding and those that do shouldn’t have to defend their choice to do it as long as they want.

When I first started this blog I was telling my experience of losing weight.   I wasn’t an expert but I wanted to share what had worked for me and keep myself accountable.  And yeah there’s a sort of narcissism attached to blogging in general.  You have to have a bit of audacity to think some stranger is interested in what you have to say.

So if I ever write anything vaguely Mommy Blogger–esque it  will be from my perspective as a first time mom and stepmother of 3.  It will be about what personally works for me or things I want to share with the world.    And though I might have an opinion about what others do with their children I won’t be sharing too much of that.

It’s none of my business how you want to raise your child - I mean – c’mon -  I’ll never think you’re a good mother if you abuse your child in any way but short of that you do what you want.   And it’s really no one’s business how I raise mine.

I don’t know what I’m trying to say here except it makes me really sad.  

Maybe I’ll start mommy blogging when mommies are actually nice to each other.


  1. I just wanted to let you know that I will settle this by having Ryan challenge that bimbo's kid in pub trivia someday.

    I think we know who will emerge victorious.

  2. That goes without saying. :) xoxo

  3. Bottles are my best friend!!!! and my baby is super happy and physically advanced beyond his age even with an injury at birth - thank you Similac!!!


  4. Love this post. If there is a "War on Women" it's by women on other women. I hate that about our sex.