Sunday, August 4, 2013


I'm trying to revive this blog - just exactly how is the question.  Look for more (including a new name possibly) in the weeks to come but in the meantime here's what my life looks like lately.

Monday, January 21, 2013

Status Report

me and ry
I think Ryan is going to end up working for Apple – if his affinity for iPhones and iPads are any indication.
So it’s been 2 weeks since I joined WW – one week since I actually weighed in.   I’m currently on Week 2  Day 2 of the “Warm Up to 10k” training. 

I feel better – but I’m not sure I look any better.   The scale seems to be moving pretty slowly this time around.

I think the best thing about being “on program” so to speak is that I feel more in control.   Which is important for me – given the fact that I often feel like I live in chaos. 

All of my possessions were once housed in under 400 sq ft of space.   Now I am blessed to live in a rather large home.   But in that home are also 5 other human beings.

Subsequently – I can’t always find what I’m looking for.   There’s a black hole somewhere in this house and there are multiple things living there. 

Most notably the brand new Cooking Light cookbook I got from my mom for Christmas.   I may have had a bit of a meltdown about this over the weekend.   It really does ruin my day though – when I can’t find what I need when I need it.

Speaking of Christmas gifts – another thing that is helping my weight loss cause is my new Nike+fuel band.    You can ask Dave how important making my goal each day has become.  I have been known to move my arms back and forth repeatedly while in bed just to make goal.   Silly as that seems – that’s the point.   To set a goal to be active each day.   Only once since I’ve worn this band have I been woefully under goal.  

Yesterday I went to the gym and ran for 5 solid minutes.   (This is in addition to the intervals I ran on Week 2 Day 1 of the 10k thingy).   I wanted to quit but really only the first 3 min were tough.     It reminded me that I used to run all the time.

I used to really like running by the East River.   I would run to the South Street Seaport and then walk back up Broadway.   By the time the weather gets warmer I should be in shape enough to find a place to run around here.   

I’m happy that we’re going on vacation in a few weeks.  I’m not happy to have to get in a bathing suit but it will be nice to get away.    Cross your fingers that my baby Moose is feeling better by then.    He’s on his third round of antibiotics since October. :(

Anyway – that’s about it.  Nothing much new and exciting. 

Last night I made what had been my father’s favorite dinner – roasted turkey breast.   Thanksgiving in January.    It was pretty spectacular if I do say so myself.   I’m hoping to do a recipe/cooking post sometime this week.   I’ve got a few different meals planned.   

To any of you still checking in - stay tuned!    And thanks for reading!

Wednesday, January 2, 2013

New Year, New Me



This time last year I was about 100 months pregnant and suffering from a horrible bout of sciatica.    Honestly, going through labor and giving birth was cake compared to all that.

2012 was a challenge in so many ways.    There was much to adjust to and quite honestly I’m not quite sure I’ve gotten there yet.   But I’m trying. 

We’ve had fun holidays and such but something is just constantly *off*.  I guess  it comes down to the fact that nothing will be the same now that my father is no longer here.    On New Year’s Eve Jen and I recreated a recipe that was brought to us by my mother but last executed by my Dad.    The fact that we could not just call out to him for guidance made me mad. 

Then again – if he were here he’d be making it himself.

Still I am grateful for all I do have.   Great friends, a loving family, wonderful stepkids, an amazing husband, and the happiest little boy ever created.


ryan mooseFor the four thousandth time I’m heading back to Weigh Watchers.   I’m renewing our gym membership.  I’m armed with a Cooking Light cookbook, a Nike fuel band and new workout clothes.   

Even the guy at the bagel store today is in on it.    I ordered a blueberry bagel with cream cheese for Mora and an onion bagel with butter for myself.

He made me a mini bagel.

Stay tuned and wish me luck as I try to make six people eat the food I used to make for myself when I started this blog.  

A happy and healthy New Year to you all.



Tuesday, September 18, 2012

Why I don’t want to be a Mommy Blogger

Ryan Mall Ryan likes bottles and doesn’t care what you think about it.

I started blogging because my sister said she thought I should.   I enjoyed reading blogs and decided to jump in with my own experience and take on a few subjects.  

The first blogs I followed were daily food diaries and while I sometimes am jealous and want to imitate what I see others eating it got old fast.

I had my son when I was 41 years old.   I truly didn’t think it was in the cards for me – or if it was – I’d have to work for it.   I got surprised in more ways than one.

I’ve read about natural childbirth and breastfeeding and what society or more accurately the blog world deems right and appropriate in terms of delivery and nourishing your child.  

And it’s all a bunch of judgmental, snarky bullshit.

When I went to my childbirth class the nurse who ran it said “We teach about pain free childbirth and want to make sure you are ok with that”.

I was.

I was given a choice at that point – to find another class or get on board with that one.

If I were younger maybe I’d try to go all natural.   Maybe I’d have gone to a midwife and not an OBGYN. 

Truth be told I don’t think I’m that kind of person.

I don’t think I’d ever want a doula involved in my birth process.    Dave and I did just fine.   I walked around for 2 days with a broken arm but I don’t think I’d want to experience labor when I know that there is a medication that in most cases takes the pain away.

I was past my due date.   I was at the doctors every other day getting a sonogram every other week it seemed.   I was anxious and jittery.   My doctor said that my blood pressure was elevated and that may or may not have been the case.   All I know is I had an induced labor and an epidural.   I had my son in my arms roughly 24 hours after I entered the hospital and was in labor for about half that.

Just as some make a conscious choice to try a drug free birth I made a conscious choice to have one aided with drugs.   And  I’d do it again in a heartbeat.

I don’t  for one second think this makes me weak or uninformed or ill prepared for motherhood.   I have – dare I say – one of the happiest babies ever.   I breastfed him until it was becoming a real challenge and for my own sanity I  tapered off until he made his preference known.

What I don’t hear many mommy bloggers say is that taking care of themselves is directly related to taking good care of their babies.

I just read one of the most horrific posts ever about how lazy I apparently am for not breastfeeding Ryan until the dawn of the new millennium.   I admit – there would have been a limit to my breastfeeding him had I continued.  Basically if he could speak to me and ask me to nurse him we’d be about done.

But if that’s what some women want to do that’s fantastic.  And if that works for their lifestyle and their child I say more power to them.   However I shouldn’t have to defend my choice to stop breastfeeding and those that do shouldn’t have to defend their choice to do it as long as they want.

When I first started this blog I was telling my experience of losing weight.   I wasn’t an expert but I wanted to share what had worked for me and keep myself accountable.  And yeah there’s a sort of narcissism attached to blogging in general.  You have to have a bit of audacity to think some stranger is interested in what you have to say.

So if I ever write anything vaguely Mommy Blogger–esque it  will be from my perspective as a first time mom and stepmother of 3.  It will be about what personally works for me or things I want to share with the world.    And though I might have an opinion about what others do with their children I won’t be sharing too much of that.

It’s none of my business how you want to raise your child - I mean – c’mon -  I’ll never think you’re a good mother if you abuse your child in any way but short of that you do what you want.   And it’s really no one’s business how I raise mine.

I don’t know what I’m trying to say here except it makes me really sad.  

Maybe I’ll start mommy blogging when mommies are actually nice to each other.

Monday, September 17, 2012

Back in the saddle

Four years ago I started to lose weight.  I started at a time when I thought all hope was lost.  I really, truly did not believe I could do it.

But I did.

60 lbs later I felt fantastic.  I exercised often and I enjoyed it.   My closet was no longer a place I loathed but a place I loved.

And then I met Dave and went out a lot and didn’t quite care that I didn’t order the salad anymore. 

And then, my father died.   And I didn’t quite care what I ate.

And then, I got pregnant.

And then I had this guy.

photo (2)

And here we are.

I’m back…again.    I’m starting with just exercising more regularly.   I just re-started the Couch 2 5K.    I feel like I need to start exercising first and then I can focus on eating.   As it is these days I leave a half full plate at meals because someone needs my attention.

I weighed less the few weeks after I had Ryan than I currently do and that’s the thing that makes me most upset about all this.   But just as I felt when I was single – that you can’t complain about not being with someone if you don’t actively try to find them – you can’t lose weight by sitting on your ass and stuffing your face.

So – at the very least – I’m going to get up and stop eating so much.

We’ll see how it goes.