I know I've been gone for a while and the truth is I didn't really know how to come back here. It's not just that I have been less mindful and less active in the last 6 months - although that alone was making it hard for me to come here every day. I'm fully aware I've been slacking. The girl who lost 60 lbs took more pictures of french fries than salad all of the sudden.
Don't worry. I'm going to fix it.
I have always loved to cook, and that love came from my father who spent 4 decades feeding me and nearly 3 feeding 40 hungry firefighters. He won awards one which included classic French culinary training. My mom can cook, as a matter of fact all his recipes for the most part were hers first, but at my house everyone always wanted to know what Joe was cooking.
We found out my dad was sick at Christmas last year. On that day it took 12 of us to do what he used to do (happily) alone. We burnt the crostini and I am sure we didn't carve the turkey right. As we took turns visiting my dad in the ER he kept giving us pointers.
The horrible disease he was diagnosed with back then did more than weaken him, eventually it took his appetite away completely. It was the cruelest cut of all to watch this man, who loved food as much as he loved to preparing it exist mostly on smoothies in the last weeks of his life.
Which explains where I've been. My dad left us a week ago Monday.
I will miss him more than I could possibly articulate here. I know we all will try endlessly to measure up to his standards in the kitchen. And I'll do my best to not use every pot and pan imaginable as I try.
He used to hate it when I did that.
I'm not sure where this blog is going right now. I know I love food. I know I love writing about food. I love cooking and I love taking pictures of what I create. I love going out to eat. I love that I was able to eat things I loved and still lose weight. I'm still going to write and document all of that - but you might have to live without pictures of peanut butter sandwiches every day.
I'm sure you're all torn up about it.
I'll be back in some way, shape or form tomorrow. I'm going back to work (from home), I'm going to mop my floor and wash my curtains, I'm going to start the Couch to 5K using the app on the iPhone I got for my birthday. I'm going out to dinner with my friend Maddy. I'm going to get dressed and go into the office on Thursday morning and to trivia with Dave on Thursday night.
And I'm going to try and figure out how to live life as I know it now.
Thanks for hanging in there with me. See you in a bit.