Wednesday, January 26, 2011

It is a riddle, wrapped in a mystery, inside an enigma

A day after I discuss Taco Bell’s mystery meat I bring you my lunch from today.

ss 101

Yes.  That’s right.  I had a bologna and cheese sandwich.

I’ve always loved bologna (and cheese).  When I was little we used to have Oscar Meyer’s and Kraft Singles.  I graduated to Boar’s Head and Land O’ Lakes sometime during my elementary/middle school days.   In the last five years I’ve been brave enough to add mustard.  

When I brought a sandwich to school and realized my dad got a deal on another brand of bologna and tried to trick me I’d immediately come home and confront him.

God bless my poor father.   He made my lunch every day and I complained about it.

In my food writing class we had to talk about a first food memory.  Mine involved – oddly enough -  bologna.  I remember watching Sesame Street.  A little girl was eating something out of a tortilla.   We didn’t have tortillas in my house (more on that below) so I used a slice of bologna with a Kraft single shredded in the center and rolled it up to resemble something like a burrito. 

I still think this is the first meal I made by myself for myself.

Side story:  My mom has not stepped foot in a grocery store in years – and is still not allowed to go unaccompanied lest she purchase everything at full price.   One year she got Jen a quesadilla maker – one of those gadgets that you plug in – kind of like a Panini press.  Anyway she was concerned she needed to go to an “International Market” to buy tortillas so Jen could use it.

I do not know what an International Market is and let her know that they sell them at Waldbaums but rest assured with her as my guide I didn’t have anything resembling Mexican food until they opened a Cozymel’s on Long Island not so long ago.   When we go anywhere remotely Mexican my mom still will only eat fajitas –but doesn’t eat any salsa, guacamole or sour cream.

Me? I now love anything mole – guac or otherwise.


I went to the office today instead of working from home.  Today – when it snowed so much this morning my hair was sopping wet by the time I got to work.   I am going to NJ tonight when it’s supposed to start to snow again.   I make so very little sense.

I had DVR’d an episode of What Not To Wear and am very disturbed by the commercials for My Strange Addiction where one woman wears a furry mascot suit in public and another eats the foam out of her couch cushions.

Really?????  The furry thing I’ve heard about – it was on an episode of CSI once I think (and yeah it’s tres odd) but eating foam?  Why would you even start to do that?

This is my problem.  I admit it.  I love stupid reality TV.  Way too much.  I have Real Housewives as my Facebook friends.  I can watch those girls for hours.  Give me Snooki taking out her earrings to bash Angelina over the head.  I love it when Randy tells you “You did your thing” as Jenny from the block channels Paula. I will sit mesmerized as a trainer screams in your face causing you to eventually lose 100 pounds.  Please show me the many ways that women in evening gowns can fight over a guy for roses.  Let me watch how a bunch of chefs can make an appetizer using no utensils but please. Trust me when I say this.

I do not need to see you eating your couch.

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