The Biggest Loser

I was going to talk about this earlier - before my near death experience took over.

I watched last night/this morning. I love this show. It's so amazing to see the transformations. A year ago I probably could have qualified for a contestant. If not - I was pretty close.

I thought about it - as like an "easy way" out. Except is it ever really easy? It it easy for the contestants to stand up there in their underwear practically during weigh ins? Is it easy to work out 8 hours a day? Not at all. Which reminds me - why do they start off heavy in sports bras or shirtless and end up skinnier in t-shirts and tank tops? I guess to put it all out there??

I can't believe how heavy the people are this year. It really is scary to see how sick they truly are. It's frightening.

Speaking of the easy way out - Jillian was in mean mode yesterday - but I see what she's doing. As I said - I've listened to a lot of her radio shows and she is always saying that she can't help these people unless they want her help. She doesn't lose the weight - they have to do the work. Extreme? Yes. A show for the TV audience? Absolutely. But then she admits how the strength of the contestants inspires her. I think Jillian's truly a marshmallow underneath it all.

The thing is these contestants are pretty much dying. If they don't make a move they will surely die. I think one of the kindest things that the trainers can do is try and motivate by any means necessary. I loved when Julio kissed Jillian after she was ripping his head off.

And Abby just about ripped my heart in two. I can't even imagine...

OK - and Alexandra - the girl who got kicked off had a crush on someone? It has to be Dan right? Aren't all the other men married?? She did imply it was a guy right?

Anyway - I'm excited to have it back - even though it's much better to DVR and then ff a bit.

Today I was struck by the things that I've done to change - even though they sound small. Today I brought a piece of foil in from home to use to warm up the other half of my sandwich in the toaster oven. (Exhibit A - my lunch + sour cream and onion PopChips)


I go into McDonald's and just buy a soda or something that's on the low calorie end. I'm not stressing about how and when I eat - I mean, I'm conscious of it - I'm always conscious of it but I don't stress out if I know I might be going out for dinner or to a party anymore.

I do still have my moments. I do worry that one missed day here and one hamburger there will eventually snowball but I was really struck last night that I lost almost 60 lbs since last year pretty much by myself. I know I have a lot of things going for me...I have health insurance, I work for a company that encourages and rewards a healthy lifestyle, I have a supportive family and friends. But I had all that before too. At some point a switch went off and I actually began to succeed. I'm not sure how or why but watching that show last night - I'm so, so thankful and proud that I have come this far on my own.

Now the trick is to stay here.