Sunday, August 9, 2009


So tonight I was all set to make delicious tomato basil sauce. I have A TON of basil that Dina so generously gave me yesterday.

I went to see Julie & Julia (which I really enjoyed. It wasn't a masterpiece but I found it charming and entertaining). In a very culinary mood I went grocery shopping on the way home. I was all set to make dinner.

And then I got home and wasn't hungry at all.


I even prepped some of the ingredients. They are now sitting in my fridge waiting for tomorrow.

I ate my eggs for breakfast, then I sort of snacked all afternoon long. I was going to go see Harry Potter - but after a conversation with my mom (who had expressed interest in seeing J&J with me) I opted for that instead. Except by then I had missed the 1:30 show and had to wait till 4:30.

I knew I'd have popcorn so I didn't want a big lunch. I ended up eating 1 leftover brownie, 1/2 a cup of potato salad and the end of a bag of pretzels. I had a small popcorn at the movies and I brought these with me to satisfy my sweet tooth.

These would be TJ's Dark Chocolate pretzels.

And that's it. I don't want anything else.

I went to the movies alone and it was packed. A girl sat next to me. I was in a section near the front - about 5 rows of only 2 seats together. She was overweight and looked uncomfortable sitting in the chair. I didn't give her a very friendly greeting when she asked if the seat was taken and I immediately felt bad about it. She was probably very much like I used to be 50 lbs ago.

It's weird. I have this thing now where I want to tell everyone that they can lose weight too but I'm not sure it's appropriate to bring it up with total strangers.

I mean - what's not to say she isn't already trying? And what's not to say she's not at that place yet where she's ready to? And the world is never going to be full of thinner, healthier people. I mean - there's always going to be someone heavier AND thinner than me. It is what it is.

As all these thoughts were going through my head I felt alternately relieved that I was in a different place now and ashamed that I was sitting there judging this poor woman next to me.

Bear with me please. I don't know what the point of this post is today at all.

I'm in a really strange mood. I realize this post sounds like it was typed under the influence and I did intend to drink some wine tonight but I promise I did not. And I don't have any desire to now.

I have been a little bit weepy all day for no real reason. We had a few conversations yesterday about relationships and things and that's the one thing in my life that's missing right about now. One of the things I loved most about J&J wasn't the food or the blogging about it. It was the love story between Julia and her husband and come to think of it, Julie and her husband too.

Seeing this movie combined with hanging out with two very happily (and well matched) couples yesterday has given me a case of the melancholies I think.

Yesterday someone asked me what my type of guy was. And I found it hard to answer, because the guys I've dated (and trust me - we're not talking double digits) have been nothing alike other than for the most part they can make me laugh. So I think it's safe to say I don't have an exact type. There are some commonalities between the guys I've been with but nothing substantial. I can make a list I guess but it's guaranteed that the next guy who comes along will not meet the criteria.

I think it boils down to that the fact I want someone who is delighted by me and understanding and appreciative of all my little quirks. Someone to be there at the end of the day cheering me on.

And of course, I'd love to have someone to cook for too.

But until then - I'll cook for me.

Tomorrow I'll use this stuff to make the sauce I was going to make tonight.

Pleasant dreams one and all. See you in the AM.

Oh and also? Go Yanks!!

1 comment:

  1. I'm catching up. By the way, I don't usually get around to checking out if you answer my comments, so you don't really need to. I've seen some of your answers, but I can't go through and check for them, so don't waste your time on that! I know you see my comments. I consider your blog entries your half of the conversation. Well, the "big" half of the conversation. ;)

    Anyway, when someone asks you what type of guy you like, you have to say: "Dads, primarily. Yep. Soccer dads. Single dads. NASCAR dads. Any kind of dads, really." What kind of Office fan are you? Yeesh.

    I remember in my single days, it often seemed like the world was full of &*#^&%&*%^% couples. :( Hang in there. ;)

    - Kev.